.Dear bae, baby, babe
People are going to Judge us no matter what. We can hem ourselves in or puff ourselves up, we can dress or undress, but there is no formula that is going to make everyone like us. No formula for escaping judgment!
"But that's not fair!" we cry.
No babe, it's not. It sucks. But it's crazy impossible to have everyone like us. And some people will poo poo us, even dislike us. We will be too loud for some, too quiet for others, too this, too that. Too, too too much of wearing tutus, they'll say. Did you see him? How dare he? So flouncy!
There will be someone there telling us our thoughts, our preferences, or our boundaries are not valid. This will hurt, a lot. I am sorry, babe, but we can feel this pain together. These people aren't cruel. And feel free to call them asshole or stomp your feet or cry. But they are just unconscious. Unconsciously wanting us to conform to their worldview because we make them uncomfortable, babe.
We make them uncomfortable with our powerfuls "Nos!" and with our resounding "Yeses" to who we are and what we want. So we might as well say fuck it and stop wasting our energy pleasing them or defending ourselves to them. Because when we do that, all we are saying is you are right, please still like me. Or you are wrong but still please love me.
Fuck it babe, we don't need that racket, it's same as the sensation of a tooth biting down on the tine of the fork, there is nothing there for us but pain. So leave it.
And say to them through words or actions:Hey join me! Come let us fly our freak flags, freak umbrellas, wear our freak boots as tromp in freak mud and make freak messes and be fucking who we are! Unashamed, unabashed, unapologetic! Celebrating the freaking miracle of weirdness, of peculiarity and personality that each and every one of us is!
Because we are all one delicious spice, or seasoning in the soup of life and we need them all to make a good broth.